Dr Deeba Parmar is Head of Learning and Teaching Enhancement at BPP University, Fellow of the Institute of Equity, University Centre and is a member of the ANTF working group ‘In it Together’.
For the past several years, I have worked in a Teaching Excellence Award Lead role, supporting colleagues in their NTF applications. I am familiar with the framework and criteria, but more importantly, I have come to understand the quieter questions to pose that help colleagues illuminate their evidence. Much of my role has been about guiding, often very humble colleagues, to recognise their excellence and to see their practice with a little more distance and clarity.
One of the clearest lessons from this work is that strong applications are not necessarily about doing more, but about coherence. They require people to see their work differently, to surface values that may have become invisible through familiarity, to articulate impact that has grown incrementally. Many colleagues underestimate their work not because it lacks value, but because they have normalised it. Learning to pause and reframe familiar practice is often a light bulb moment.
During this period, I have celebrated the wonderful successes of others, including three National Teaching Fellows awarded in a single year. I have also supported colleagues whose applications were not successful but were no less meaningful. Those journeys, and indeed their practice, were rich, affirming and developmental. Each application, whatever the outcome, has offered learning, reinforcing my belief that recognition in learning and teaching is about surfacing values and impact, not simply achieving an outcome. Unsuccessful applications often generate some of the most powerful reflection, revealing where confidence, narrative or evidencing needs strengthening rather than where practice itself is lacking.
What I was not fully prepared for was how different it feels to step into the role of applicant myself. Writing my own application has been challenging and, at times (many times), uncomfortable. I found myself hesitating, doubting and overthinking, and, rather frustratingly, struggling to take my own advice. Being used to championing others does not automatically make it easy to champion yourself. This experience has reminded me how common it is for those whose work centres on enabling others to find it hardest to name their own contribution, particularly when their impact is relational, facilitative or distributed across teams.
As part of making sense of my own writing, I found myself drawing on the micro, meso and macro lens, as discussed by Potter (2023). I did not use it as a prescriptive framework, but as a way of organising my thinking about reach, value and impact. It helped me step back and ask different questions of my own evidence, including how my work is experienced by individuals and teams, how it has shaped institutional practices and cultures, and how elements of it have travelled beyond my immediate context. Using this lens was less about categorisation and more about coherence, helping me see how different aspects of my practice connect, accumulate and resonate.
Recognising how challenging this was for me also meant I had to do something unfamiliar, step back from the mentoring role and allow myself to be supported by others. Relinquishing that position was not easy. I am accustomed to being the person who guides, reassures and helps make sense of the process. Instead, I intentionally sought out colleagues whose judgement I trust and learned from their perspectives. Allowing others to ask me the reflective questions I so often ask of them was both exposing and deeply valuable. It reinforced an important learning. Mentoring and support are most powerful when they are reciprocal rather than hierarchical. For those considering recognition, it may be worth asking not only what evidence you’re presenting , but who helps you to see your work clearly when proximity makes that difficult, as there may be multiple ‘critical friends’ experienced in this area beyond your TEAL.
The reflective process itself forced me to slow down and look closely at my practice, not just at the impact I have, but at how I work. Reading testimonials and reflections from colleagues was unexpectedly moving. Through their words, I began to see patterns I had not fully articulated. Others experienced me as someone who looks for possibility in difficult situations, holds onto purpose when circumstances feel constrained, and helps people see a way forward. Seeing these qualities reflected back to me helped me understand how my influence is often most visible through others’ experiences of working with me, rather than through the outputs I am quickest to claim.
Looking closely at my evidence also made me more aware of how the labels I usually wear with pride, as a woman of colour, and as someone whose career has been rooted in professional services, can feel more exposed when placed under scrutiny. Sitting with that discomfort has been humbling, and it has deepened my empathy for others navigating similar spaces. It has also reinforced the importance of recognition processes that genuinely value diverse roles, pathways and forms of leadership in learning and teaching.
Perhaps most importantly, this process has reshaped how I understand my own professional identity. It has helped me recognise not only what I do, but how and why I do it, and how that work connects across people, structures and the wider sector. That insight will shape how I continue to mentor and champion others, with greater attentiveness, reciprocity and care. It has reminded me that recognition is not only about individual achievement, but about the networks of trust, learning and generosity that sit around it and make that achievement possible.
Whatever the outcome, the process has already been a gift, deepening my reflective practice, strengthening my professional identity, and sharpening my commitment to generous, thoughtful spaces for learning and recognition.
References
Potter, J. (2023) Micro, meso and macro educational development? The SEDA Blog, 15 March. Available at: https://thesedablog.wordpress.com/2023/03/15/micro-meso-and-macro-educational-development/ (Accessed: 28 December 2025)
